Approaching and asking a lady out may seem like no big deal if you’re one of those men in Malawi who are either naturally smooth or have mastered it over time. But not every man falls in that category; there are some who are so shy that they cannot handle being around a woman — talk more of asking her out. But we all have to keep up, don’t we?

Not too many African men are willing to admit to being shy, and risk being ridiculed by their friends. So what do this sort of men do? They cook up fake excuses to mask their inability to do be smooth with women. Some of these excuses are very hilarious. Let’s check them out.

1. ‘I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR WOMEN NOW’

A lot of men like to use this excuse to mask their inability to confidently approach a woman, and ask her out. But what in the hell is that supposed to mean though? Are women like a program or class that you’re meant to reserve a special time for? It doesn’t even take up to 20 good minutes to meet one. What’s even more funny about guys who use this excuse is that even 2 years later, they still wouldn’t ‘have time’ for women. Lol.

2. ‘WOMEN ARE A DISTRACTION’

Oh really? You have no job, no business, you’re not studying, and you say women are ‘a distraction’? What exactly are you trying not to be distracted from? Lol. I know a few guys like this, and the one thing I find annoying about them is that they keep checking out my girlfriend.

3. ‘WOMEN ARE GOLD-DIGGERS’

Bro, you’ve never had a girl all your life, and you tell me this? How do you know women are gold-diggers when you’ve never had one in your life? You must be psychic, then? Lol. It’s even understandable if this were to come from a millionaire…not some brother who’s struggling to make ends meet.

And I agree that there are women who run after men because of their wealth, but it’s not just women, there are men who do the same. So, you just need to be very careful when you choose a partner. Don’t get deterred by this.

4. ‘I’M NOT IN THE MOOD’

We all have that one male buddy who’s smitten by a female, but every time you spot the lady, and you tell him to go make his feelings known, he’s like, ‘I’m not in the mood’. Lol. But before then, he was all lively and good. Bruh, how come your mood only changes when you’re around that one female? There’s definitely something you’re hiding!

5. ‘I PREFER MALE COMPANY TO FEMALES’

Say what? So you’d rather hang around men all your life? What are you, a monk or a eunuch? What man doesn’t want some female company? You need to tell us the real reason why you don’t have a girlfriend, cos it’s definitely not this!

6. ‘I DON’T REALLY LIKE HER’

You’re trying to tell me you’ve been staring at that chick and checking her out all month because you ‘don’t really like her’? No way! I’ll tell you how you act around a woman you don’t fancy. You don’t stare, you don’t check her out, and you don’t talk about her. So stop lying, and admit that you’re too shy to reveal your feelings, bruh. Lol.

 

 

P.S: shyness is not a bad thing. Not a lot of men are confident enough to approach a lady and ask her out. This post is not an attempt to ridicule Malawian shy men, it’s all a joke. If you’re too shy to ask a woman out, simply find another way to meet her. Asking friends to introduce you is a start.

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ZIMENE MUMAKONDA

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