It’s so easy to be selfish in a relationship; humans generally have this selfish part of them, and it’s only with discipline one can cut off selfishness.

It’s even hard to recognise that you are being selfish in your relationship; more often than not, people put up selfish attitudes in their relationships and don’t even know it.

Below are some signs that you are being selfish in your relationship:

1. YOU ONLY SEE YOUR PARTNER’S FLAWS

When all you see are your partner’s mistakes and you never admit yours, then that’s being selfish. When you feel that you are a perfect partner then that’s being selfish. Everyone has flaws, you also ought to admit to yours.

2. YOU ONLY DO YOUR WILL

When it’s your will that’s always done in the relationship, that’s a sign of selfishness. It shows that you have no regards for your partner’s belief and way of doing things. Whether you are a man or woman, it isn’t right when it’s your will that’s always done in the relationship.

3. YOU LET YOUR EGO INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

We all have egos, but it’s selfish when you bring in all that ego into the relationship; the relationship would be one-sided when you are egotistical, and that shows a lot of selfishness.

4. YOU WITHHOLD SEX FOR SELFISH REASONS

When you withhold sex from your partner just to show them that you have control over the relationship or use it to emotionally blackmail your partner, then that’s selfish.

5. YOU NEVER PUT YOUR PARTNER’S NEEDS BEFORE YOURS

Everyone has needs, but sacrifice and understanding are two key words that are needed in a relationship. If you always have to put your needs above your partners’ and you rarely sacrifice for the sake of the relationship then that’s being selfish.

6. WHEN YOU WANT TO BE LOVED THOROUGHLY, BUT DON’T LOVE YOUR PARTNER ENOUGH

Some people expect to be shown enough love in a relationship, but they don’t show enough to their partner — that’s selfish.

7. WHEN YOU EXPECT YOUR PARTNER TO DO ALL THE COMMUNICATION

Communication is important in a relationship; it’s selfish of you to allow your partner do all the communicating. Communication ought to be the role of both partners, not one.

8. YOU ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR GOOD DOINGS BUT NOT YOUR PARTNER’S

This is another selfish scenario that happens in relationships. When you acknowledge your good deeds but play down on the ones done by your partner then that’s selfish.

9. YOU RARELY SAY SORRY

Apologies are also important in a relationship. Being sorry also ought to come from your mind; it’s selfish to do a wrong deed and never apologise for it.

10. YOU DON’T TRY TO CHANGE YOUR BAD HABITS

Sometimes, nagging partners nag because their partners refuse to change from their bad habits. It’s bad and selfish when you don’t try to change your bad habits. Worse still, some people go on to criticise their partners for complaining about their bad habits.

Being selfish would only harm the success of that relationship. Have you ever paused to think of the selfish things you do in your relationship?

AUZENI ANZANU PA
Yapita ija‘NO ONE IS FIRED’-MA BLACKS
YotsatiraLake of Stars postponed
Robert Ngwira
Attended Our Future Private Secondary School in Rumphi from 2006-2009 Holder of Diploma in Journalism from Malawi Institute of Journalism (MIJ) Hobbies, reading newspapers, going out with friends, listening to radio and watching football.

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