It is a simple fact that the number of guys refusing to marry is directly proportional to the number of ladies that are single and searching, reason being that it is these single guys that have refused to marry that ought to marry the single ladies that are searching and praying for husband.

Now, the question is: why do we have an abnormal increase in the number of single unmarried ladies that are searching for marriage partner today in Malawi?
Sit back and read the preceding paragraphs and you will find out why and how women (married and single) can help curb this canker worm eating deep into our modern Malawi.
Before we forge ahead, you will agree with me that 10 to 20 years ago, men dominated the Malawian workforce, with fewer number of women occupying top positions, but today, the table has turned as more women now secure better paying jobs than their male counterparts.

My personal study into this recent development showed that most Malawian organisation boss who are mostly men above 45years, prefer to hirer pretty single ladies for non-engineering positions, which put guys in the non-engineering sectors at high risk of not securing good jobs when competing with ladies for same job position.

I also discovered that most multinational firms have a policy that encourages female gender empowerment, which make their HR team give preferential treatment to ladies seeking for same position with a male job applicant during recruitment exercise.

You can hardly discover this secret organisation policy until you are among the top management.If you doubt this, try and go to Victoria Avenue in Blantyre during close of work; 5 – 6pm (Monday – Friday), and you will notice higher number of young pretty females leaving their office premises in good cars, with few young guys leaving their workplaces in a car.

If you are observant enough, you will also discover that most of the male workers driving home from work are usually within the age range of: 38 – 60yrs, whereas more ladies within the age range of; 25 – 35yrs drive home from work, showing that more young ladies now have better jobs than guys.
This is also applicable to Lilongwe: same study was carried out within Central Business Zomba, CBD.

To many Malawians, especially the ladies, it is a good trend; at least to them, it shows that ladies are becoming independent from guys, and to the old working class male directors and managers, it means nothing because they are at the receiving end (sleeping with these young pretty ladies for jobs, promotion, contracts, etc), but not until their own daughter(s) graduate from SA, London or the USA and returns back home to take up an executive position in her dad’s big firm, but only to go to bed every night weeping and soaking her pillows with tears simply because there is no responsible young man in her life ready to walk her to the altar and they live happily ever after like she reads from foreign novels and watch on Nigerian movie series.

No wonder many rich parents are now arranging marriage for their daughters; yet this doesn’t solve the imminent problem of abnormal increase in single young people in Malawi of today.

Now, what am I blabbing about? The major reason we have increasing rate of single ladies in Malawi today is not because witches in the villages have increased in number and now pursuing single ladies and stopping them from finding suitable husbands just as many modern pastors make these single ladies to believe in order to extort money from them & to grow their congregation, it is not even because single ladies of today lack good character or manner, neither is it because single ladies now dress indecently….nope, the major reason is harsh economy that is no longer favouring young single guys!

How do we expect a guy who graduated from higher institution and living with his parents after 3 years and still unable to rent a decent apartment for himself, unable to cater for his own daily needs to think about getting married in this time and age?

How do we expect a young guy who after 4 to 5 years of passing out from Poly is yet to secure a job that pays him up to a hundred thousand Kwacha, and give him the opportunity of saving at least fifty thousand Kwacha every month to wish to marry and give birth to children?

The earlier we Malawians realise the dangers of having more young guys without good job, the better for us as a nation that wish to grow and have a happy, crime-free society.I know some people will say: marriage is not everyone, while others will argue that must everybody marry? And the answer is yes, anybody who desires to marry ought to marry, but is that the case today? No!

Many young men want to marry, but the truth is that their pocket isn’t encouraging to take that bold step that marriage requires.

Some will also argue that must you wait till you have millions before you marry? And some will argue that marriage is not about money, but tell me: how do you sustain the kids that will follow after the wedding? How do you plan to pay for house rent, children increasing school fees, etc?

Do you want to plan the future of your kids on one rich relation or friend? That’s unfair to the unborn innocent children you want to bring to life, please don’t do it!

I know that not every guy or lady will be rich, but being comfortable to provide most of your needs should be compulsory at least!

I still remember the story of Adam and Eve which I read from “The Book of My Bible Stories” while I was a kid, it told us how God created man, Adam and gave him everything he needed and Adam will go to his garden in the morning to return at night lonely, such that God pitied him and said: it is not good for him to be alone, I will make him a help mate, and so God made Adam to fall deep asleep and then God came and removed one of Adam’s ribs and made Eve for him.

 

Adam woke up and saw Eve and was excited and said: this is the bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh (dunno if I quoted those words correctly).

What am I trying to say? God gave Adam his basic needs before sending him a woman!

A man deserves to have his basic needs met before thinking of getting married.

But it is so shameful that old married men in Malawi occupying top positions in various organisations and firms gave and still giving jobs to single unmarried ladies who most times contribute nothing to the organisation’s growth, thereby causing more unemployment and underemployment of young single Malawian guys, with a resultant effect of late marriage amongst these young single guys.

 

Shameful enough, many organisations today hire ladies by their physical attraction; once a member of the HR team admires the female applicant, whether she merits the job or not, he must ensure that she gets hired to the disadvantage of her male counterparts who most times have better skills to offer to the organisation.

THE SOLUTION

 

First, we must tell ourselves the truth: in Malawian culture and norm, men are believed and expected to be the breadwinner of the family; the woman is only expected to assist and contribute if she has and can.
Bearing this in mind, majority if not all Malawian single ladies searching for a life partner want and desire to marry a guy earning higher income than them.

All things being equal, no Malawian single lady prays to marry a guy she’s earning more than; very uncommon in Malawi.But then, we have few single guys in Malawi who earn that kind of income most Malawian single ladies desire from their preferred partner. And as it stands presently in Malawi, more single ladies between the age range of 25yrs – 35yrs have better paying jobs than single guys of the same age range, which means many single ladies in Malawi will never find husband to marry except they lower their taste and marry a guy earning below them or they become second wife to older men.
All these anomalies were caused by older Malawian men who set the wrong legacy for this nation in terms of bad leadership, sex-for-job in favour of single ladies, and more…and for this status quo to change, every Malawian citizen must play a role to bring the much desired change we dream of in Malawi, how?

1. As a young single lady working in a company, say no to the maltreatment of young single guys in your organisation because the more these guys are penalised and made not to grow, the more chances of you, your single sister, niece, friend or even aunt not finding a deserving husband to marry.

2. All HR personnel must ensure equity and fairness when hiring applicants for any job position. Stop the female gender empowerment; enough is enough, its not helping Malawi, neither is it helping the world in general.

Women are happier when their husband or man is in charge financially than when they are in charge…even in Europe!

3. As a single lady, lower your financial expectation from guys- the table is turning, fewer guys now have good means of income compared to ladies; you ladies asked for gender equality, you now have it, please make use of it, don’t wait for a richer guy…if you are driving and you see a guy trekking whom you fancy, lift him and don’t be shy to startup a focused-relationship with him…waiting for the richer guys driving bigger cars than yours may keep you waiting for eternity and may bring you more heartbreak because such guys now know that they are king to women and so they treat ladies with little/no respect.

4. Encourage your single brothers to work hard, acquire skill, learn trade and explore business opportunities even if they are working. Help them with business startup capital…doing so will help create a deserving husband for a fellow single lady out there.

5. Stop squandering that single guy’s money!

Advice him to invest his income wisely! Encourage him to startup a side business to assist his salary because no salary is enough!

6. As a single guy, learn to be financially wise!

Quit those useless habits that drains your income! Quit smoking! Quit drinking! Quit gambling! Quit womanising; its a costly hobby! Quit clubbing around town! Quit squandering money on any girl who isn’t your wife! Learn to invest, learn to nurture a business aside your job and learn to spend lesser than you earn! Don’t use your last savings to buy a car just to feel among or just to attract irrelevant ladies! Car is more of a necessity until you become rich! For now, buying car should be to aid your financial growth and not for fun or pleasure!

7. As a single lady, pray for your single brothers, boyfriend, lover, or male friends and colleagues. Advice and encourage them whenever you can.

It is no longer easy for single young guys in Malawi even though most of them won’t confess this to you due to male ego!

Let’s all wake up to the reality and pray that President Mutharika and his team bring about the positive change in Malawi’s economy to help curb this societal pressure.

Wish you all a blissful day ahead.

single in Nigeria

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28 NDEMANGA

  1. So you mean all those naked navels need husbands? A good article rather. How I wish it appeared in newspapers and even on the noisy Nyasatimes!

  2. That’s a very very good article and a piece of advise to both men and women..honestly women empowerment is killing us …keep it up bro…

  3. Who the fuck authored this piece of shit article?? Could you kindly pass me their contact details so I can have a word with them??

    How misogynistic and dumb must you be to think women empowerment is problematic?? The reason developed countries are developed is because of exactly that, women empowerment.

    You dumb piece of crap!!

  4. I feel sad for you. This kind of thinking is the kind that reinforces poverty and is the reason why this country struggles to develop. The basis of all your analogies and conclusions is unfounded. Its a fact that there is still disproportionately fewer women in the workforce than men in Malawi and we need to educate as many women as we can because we need their help so don’t punish educated women simply because you have a serious superiority complex. And in the context of the bible, in Gods eyes we are all equal regardless of the role God has given women, it doesn’t make women any less important or subordinates to any single Malawian guy.

  5. You raise some good points. Emphasis on ‘some’. A few of the things you’ve said are facts indeed, with scientific backing. However you present a lot of personal opinions as well.
    I was reading your article with great interest until I came to the point which says, women are happier when men are in charge of the finances (insert face palm here). How could you seriously suggest that? Even in Europe it is not like that ( studies have been made).

    To say women empowerment is killing not helping the nation is dumb (that’s the most polite word I could find). That’s a whole discussion I wont get into in the comment section.

  6. Sorry for the men who cant compete with women in the work force. we will not dumb down just because you wont marry us. it has taken a lot of efforts for women to be able to go to school and be recognised as competent persons in the work force. we shall not waste the efforts of our parents and guardians in educating us so we have a better life. we will not be mere contributors to your male egos. keep weeping.

  7. Firstly, Men of quality do NOT fear equality. Malawian women are rising. Every day you hear of a Malawian woman bringing positive change,innovation etc to our society. We will continue working hard and empowering other women and girls to do the same. If you cannot keep up or compete, that’s not our problem. Keep crying and weeping. Malawian women will continue rising, women empowerment in the work place isn’t going anywhere so forget about it!!! If you weren’t below average you wouldn’t worry about competition in the workplace to begin with. Also, No one is going to “lower their expectations” because YOU can’t meet them. From what I gather in this article you aren’t the brightest in the bunch, pick up a book!

  8. This is abriliant article. All stakeholders have been addressed to. Let’s us ponder over it and take action where necessary.

  9. I normally do not comment on articles online but this was too much for me to stay silent.

    The author of this article needs to realise that the country he is living in is the poorest country in the WORLD. How can he even suggest part of the labour force step down just so they can find a marriage?

    Secondly, every woman wants financial sustainability from her job or work, its only an added bonus if the man she marries is financially stable.

    My advise to you is to STOP making assumptions about why women are sucessful. Go and advise the young men and women aout there to work hard. The labour market is tough, employers are looking for people who can deliver. Advise the young men and women sitting on their degrees with no jobs to NOT just wait to be employed but to create employment as entreprenuers!

    Lastly, i advise the author to use facts from research with good enough sample sizes and not his opinions which are highly superficial and degrading to women. It is articles like these that make the outside world think we malawians are ignorant and stupid.

  10. What kind of rubbish is this? Are we still in the ancient times? If women are doing much better in the work force than men, why are we still underrepresented in the Malawi judicial system or in the medical field? Why are the majority of managerial posts held by men? … I have never read such stupidity in my life. The world is evolving, yet Malawi just wants to remain in the dark ages … Personally, if a man is intimidated by my success, he is not a man I want anyway!

  11. This is one of the powerful source of an intellectual sight i have come across. And, how i wish this article would have appeared in one of the biggest papers. It will bring insight to our society and women as whole

  12. It’s a nice article. pliz try yo best to publish it big news paper like nation or daily times. Some people are just arguin but you( author) have raised facts only and nothing else.

  13. It is unfortunate that people think that stopping all those that are racing (and leading) so that those that are struggling should catch up is okay. ‘Whaaat?’ you say. Yes, every time you see an advert that says ‘women are encouraged to apply’ just know that that’s what such an organization or institution thinks. Well, here’s the downside
    1. Such a statement actually fosters the notion that women are second best/inferior to men and cannot make it without some form of external assistance (This is reinforced in both men (often seen as perpetrators of gender exclusion and women – often seen as victims of gender exclusion)
    2. It makes those who are victimized by such interventions very bitter and so only prolongs the problem of gender inequality as men begin to look at women with unhealthy levels of competitiveness (Case in point, Rwandan genocide – i.e. selecting a people group to have higher access to socio-economic services at the expense of another is detrimental to the ultimate development of the whole and defeats the natural and healthy order of competitiveness and fairness and therefore growth)
    3. Overall, such interventions lower the quality and standards of output. (Case in point, Quota System in Unima. Unverified reports indicate that the drop-out rate (weeding) has increased with the onset of the quota system. The approach seeks to lower the standards in order to allow candidates without merit make it at the expense of those with merit.

  14. 1. It is true that bosses within organisations in Malawi are Sex addicts who think ladies and mainly pretty ladies should acquire good jobs after they sleep with them.

    2. Most young ladies in Malawi of this century are so cheap; in a sense that, they would rather allow any man with good financial stand to get into their sweet pants just because they bought them an iPhone 6, or gave them 100,000 for shopping and any other things that these ladies fancy.

    3. The media effect has played a role in paralysis of the Boy and Girls of today such that commitment is no longer important but things like, Friends with benefits, One night Stands, MG2’s, etc have established a sense of decomposing the essence of getting married. Its sad to realize how children up to the age of 11 are capable of memorizing a song by Chris Brow, Rihanna, Vybz Kartel and many other artists who convey sexual orientation in most of their lyrics.

    4. Apart from this article being written in good grammar and making valid and true points of the reality of things happening in Malawi, it has further conveyed the massages that Dr. H Kamuzu Banda gave to Malawians ‘Democracy ndi nkhondo’. The coming of Human Rights and empowerment of Women has only made them being slaves of their own freedoms i.e Freedom of Dressing has increased and prompted higher desire for men to use them as sexual instruments.

    5. Take for example countries like Libya, United Arab emirates and Kuwait, for the past 2 decades have flourished in unprecedented development, but rubbish to do with empowerment and Human Rights does not exist as it is in Malawi. It is further a pitty to see the Church of Our Lord facilitating the evils of Human Rights.

    6. Single Youth in Malawi will never be an ending story:
    – Young Lazy Girls will always go for Sugar daddies to access good money in the same process chasing away potential husbands.
    – Young Hard working Girls will attain good jobs on merit, but due to their higher position in financial sense, boys are afraid of approaching them for marriage.
    – Frustrated Young men will either start drinking heavily because they feel their generation ladies are all non-marriage material exploited by Rich and Big Men

  15. Seems that ladies are against the Idea and Men are up for it But for me i will just laugh and say to all concerned parties Sorry But Men if your just sitting down and busy with these alcohol and Chamba and you think success will just come on its own then your are lying to yourselves get up your butts and work hard let the Women get the Jobs while you being the owners of the Companies its called entrepreneurship Work your asses!!!

  16. I will not agree with every argument that has been presented in this post because it looks to me, it has been said out of personal perspective and interest. I will say, it is important to include gendered approach in HIRING EMPLOYEES in various organisations, companies. However, it looks to me that men are now been neglected, gender has become synonymous term with women. While it is a fact that most women are marginalised and disproportionately affected in various aspects of life. It does not mean that men should be neglected, i agree with a point that women are still marginalised (Studies have proven so). But instead of solving the problem at hand we are now creating a new one. Gendered approach is meant to look at both men and women not only women. We are heading in the right direction but there is a great need to strike a balance.

  17. As Donald Trump said, Africans love sex too much such that it is slowing down development. Imagine if young girls acquired good jobs out of Hard work and competence… unfortunately beauty willingness to sex bosses has become one attribute that can Land some women good jobs.
    Most of them are in the offices but have no clue what to do, they rely on their assistants to help them. That is wastage of time and opportunities. Ladies, do not allow your bodies to be gateways to better jobs, rather let your brains render you capable. Not only are you serving yourselves from complicated lives but you are also doing the nation a favour to employ more able people that can drive me the economy to the right direction,

    Am not against women empowerment, am against some of my the ways through which they are empowered.

    For men, Stop sleeping whole day and waiting for a lady to lower her standards for you to marry her.

  18. Typical of a Malawian man’s thinking. Always a king even when its not right. I dont agree with all that you have written and yes who said marriage is an achievement? Who said everyone wants to marry. Instead of encouraging our boys to work hard you are writing this trash..

ZIMENE MUMAKONDA

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