While it is no longer news that sugar daddies are on the increase, father to daughters’ sexual relationship is a new phenomenon that is causing worry in Malawi. Some fathers seem to pave a way to girl school drop-outs, early marriages, prostitution, and teenage HIV prevalence, instead of supporting a clichéd song of empowering girl child education.
A typical example is a father of 5, all below 18 who has animal heart, is a cock under his own room, no one should mess up with his daughters, only him should do so.
It all that with little rumour known by few that he has been sleeping with his first daughter, Lydia (not her real name), now 17 until such speculation spread to every corner of community, everybody continues to gossip about it, no one is taking matter to police.
Lydia, a standard 7 drop-out has no friends in her community, Manyowe village in Blantyre, it seems people do not understand her as how she sleeps with her own father.
But the problem is not hers, since her father started sleeping with her when she was 13. HIV father does not care about his status but to infect his own daughters.
The status was revealed by his wife, when her young sister was staying in the same house. One day, she was caught red-handed sleeping with her husband.
“Mercy (not her real name) what have you done, don’t you know my husband is HIV positive,” she blamed her sister after catching her fell to demands of her husband.
However, Mercy is one of victims of her husband’s promiscuity, he has many children in web- rock but his wife gives blind eye to that.
Several times he was caught sleeping with neighbours’ wives in bathrooms, church suspended him many times.
The reason why this father is having such heart is not established, but mainly this practice is done as part of a ritual to getting rich. While some people have uncontrolled desire for sex, it is psychological problem.
“As humans, we need to sense and filter the way we get attracted. It is our duty to control our feelings because it is inhuman for a father to sleep with his daughter. Sometimes many men have the desire to ‘taste’ their beautiful daughter before some other men do.
“It is behaviour that has potential to create immorality in our daughters as they might have problems to get a man for marriage. Sometimes the girls give in to their father’s advances out of fear as it comes with intimidation and threats. But one thing clear is: God gets angry with that,” Psychologist and family counselor on religious matters, Chezani Maland quoted in March 9, 2014 Nation Newspaper.
Ruining his own children future, is a main concern of everybody in the community that is why many are blaming his wife for this while those both married and unmarried women have their choice to make.
“I don’t understand why she does not sue her husband, he sleeps with her daughters. I think maybe she is from North, she has no say in family matters,” said one of women in gossip.
Nevertheless, the fact that her family received lobola (a bride price) is not the only cause, many women in Malawi are not financially independent so they cannot risk of losing their husbands.
“I don’t think every woman can report such cases to police because many of them rely on their husbands to survive,” one of resident in Lydia’s community said in an interview.
A pioneer and coordinator of both Girl Talk Initiative, and Nancholi Youth Organisation (NAYO) George Medi also faulted women for shielding their husbands.
“I think Malawi need to change our mind set in terms of gender especially women. They need to learn how to speak realities, truth about their husbands if committed such crimes.
Since most of women do not say anything about as one way of protecting their marriage,” Medi said in an interview.
Lydia’s young sister Angella who is 14, her legs has already opened by this wicked father. People are now gossiping about her, saying ever since her father started sleeping with her, her behaviour dramatically changed.
Angella is always seen in the streets with boys of her age busy exchanging the romantic fluids.
“So she is again infecting all these innocent boys,” woman pitifully said when chatting in their groupings.
But the wife continues to harbour all these to her heart, never go to police or to confront some officials.
Now that is Angella’s turn, Lydia is put on beach which prompted her to secure relationship with young man even though she is not in healthy state, her body is biding goodbye to the world of beauties.
The young man was indeed fallen his heels over her, if love works without money could do him better. But things jumped its normal track when Lydia became pregnancy.
Two lovers were still in happy mood after noticing the pregnancy, it really seemed to strain their relationship until one day mother of Lydia wrote a letter to her claimed in-law to be.
She accused him of his poverty, she disclosed that she did not see a future in him, so could not marry her daughter.
Maybe she knew that that pregnancy is of her husband, the young man is not responsible-gossip continues but no one is reporting the matter to police.