The feeling of being indispensable is one that shouldn’t get to you; feelings such as these are what push you to make wrong decisions upon wrong decisions.

It’s okay for your partner to see you as irreplaceable and indispensable, but this is one notion that you should never let get to you. It’s good to value yourself, have confidence and even extra confidence in yourself — but seeing yourself as indispensable is pride at its best, and the following reasons below make it a relationship killer:

1. YOU BECOME NONCHALANT

Nonchalance is a trait that comes with the feeling of being indispensable; nonchalance would make you take things for granted and make you take your partner for granted as well. As with everything in life, be it sports, your education, your career etc once nonchalance steps in, you would never do better, and if there is any where you would go from then on – it’s downwards. Nonchalance would make you blind to what you really ought to do, and you might lose a good relationship before you know it.

2. YOU KEEP MAKING SAME MISTAKES

When you see yourself as indispensable, you become blind to the mistakes you make, and you keep making them over and over again. The feeling of indispensability blinds your eyes to your faults — you feel you’re doing great when in reality you aren’t — this would definitely ruin your relationship.

3. YOU WOULDN’T GIVE YOUR BEST

This is definitely one of the things that happen when you feel you’re indispensable in your relationship. You tend to give less than your best when you see yourself as indispensable — you become complacent with the belief that it probably doesn’t matter, but it does — everything matters in a relationship, and what you feel doesn’t matter probably matters the most.

4. YOU TREAT YOUR PARTNER UNFAIRLY

When you feel your partner can’t do without you or you’re irreplaceable, you could become unfair to that person; you could neglect their feelings and emotions, you could become abusive and treat them with disrespect.

5. YOU WOULD NEVER LOVE THE RIGHT WAY

All these aforementioned tips go on to point one thing — you would never love your partner the right way, and if you keep taking such beliefs to every relationship you enter, then you would definitely keep moving from one failed relationship to another. Everybody ought to be loved in a relationship — I mean that’s the essence in the first place. But the feeling of being indispensable would kill the love that should exist in a relationship.

The feeling of being indispensable is a devil in disguise, and it’s a devil that’s only bent on destroying your relationship.

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ZIMENE MUMAKONDA

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