Wondering why they haven’t called even though you had a wonderful 15th date? Well, if you are on your 15th date, it’s clearly a relationship (unless otherwise explicitly stated by both parties)! But there may be times, when your partner feels distant and cold and if it’s more frequent than other things, it may be time to take a long hard look at your relationship. While it feels great to be madly in love and blinded by it, sometimes you need to take off the rose tinted glasses and examine the reality which may not be so pleasant. Here are seven such relationship red flags which you shouldn’t ignore.
1. Distance doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder!
Giving each other space is a good thing but if it feels like you are on Earth, and the other person is in space, then clearly something’s amiss! It doesn’t make them a bad person but their emotional needs are definitely different from yours and there’s only so much you can do about it.
2. Is it a partner or is it a parasite?
Being with each other is nice but being clingy is when you should wake up and smell the coffee. If you feel that your partner is everywhere, all the time, it may be time to gently step back. Again, they may have deep-rooted issues with possessiveness and space but it’s for their therapist to resolve, not you.
3. Trying to drive a wedge between you and your friends/family
If your partner is always complaining about your friends and family or doesn’t like you hanging out with them, then you should really examine your relationship. Often these are tricks and manipulations used by people to have complete control over your life and that can never be a good thing.
4. Difference in core values
We are not talking about being a dog person or a cat person (although if you feel strongly about having a pet, you should sort this one out!), we are talking about basic values and goals in life. Whether you want kids, whether you are religious, what are your long term goals, how materialistic you are and many more – these are things you should mutually agree on and respect if you want a successful relationship.
5. If they make you feel bad about yourself
Well, this one’s a no-brainer. No one, and we mean no one, has the right to make you feel bad about yourself. If your partner makes you feel bad about your choices (eating, dressing, jobs etc), it may be time to let go of the partner rather than the life you built after so much hard work.
6. Refusing to talk about future
If you want a serious relationship, chances are that you would want to talk about the future. From deciding cities to live in to life goals – it’s important to sort out priorities before you take the big step. However, if they refuse to talk about the future, it may just be you who is in it for the long run!
7. If all you have in common is an appetite for sex
While it’s a great thing to have, it shouldn’t be the only thing you have in common with your partner. No common interests mean the flame will be put out sooner or later!