Life in Malawi is complicated. Nowadays you just don’t know who to trust. Back in the days us dudes were sure that our buddies were truly good friends who cared about us and were always honest and willing to help us iron out our faults and become the best we can be, there was a myth that nah we can’t spend time holding a conversation with women, they aint as smart as us, there is nothing clever they can tell us, it was a ‘Boys vs. Girls’ thing.

We assumed all women were good at is gossip, shopping and changing their hair style as often as we change our briefs.

Well allow me to be the first to trash that heysay and admit that we men are not as intellectually superior to women as we think, well not all of us men to be more frank.

What has made me realise this is the fact that all most of my “buddies” (90%) can do or want to do all day is drink. There are people who say their friends but I beg to differ because unless we sit by a bar and have a drink, then to them our friendship is useless.

The life style of us men is very pathetic, our lives and plans are centred around alcohol, and if someone says “hey guys I can’t come out tonight, my girl wants to spend some quality time”, we mock him and say he is under ‘petticoat government’ and not man enough to stand up to his woman, but is that really true, honestly speaking, what is more appealing to the average sane male, a romantic night allow with his lady, where she cooks him a since dinner, they drink wine, listening to all their favourite songs and cuddle, and maybe have a bubble bath together afterwards or spending the night at a noisy bar, with bunch of dudes who smell like a pigs and drink like fish, and become irritating and noisy the more they drink.

Another point is that spending too much time at drinking joints wastes too much money. At first I never believed this, me and my buddies would tell ourselves that “no these ladies are not serious, they say we waste money drinking, but they just want us to give them this money so they can spend it on their hair which is just as much as of a waste because their hairdos and salon fees are just too expensive.”

That was the lie I told myself so I could guzzle down beers without feeling guilty until I read this article in one of the weekend papers which was about lies guys and girls tell each other and one of the points this article made was that “yes women admit spending a lot of money at the salon but unlike guys at bars they did not pay for everyone in the salon’s hairdo nor do they have their hair done every couple of days.” That really struck me hard because ‘truth hurts’.

So what do we do, well here is the solution honey I will cut back on my drinking so as to spend more time with you, and I will only drink with real friends whom I know ill return the favour when I buy a round, and from now on we will be going out together more often, but you know what would make this a whole lot easier, if they put a bar in the salon.

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