Press Statement for Immediate Release:
I, Minister of Defence am dismayed by the false propaganda that has recently been propagated on the internet. There have been stories and allegations that I was collapsed in a hotel after having taken too much Viagra to impress a teenager in an act of love. It has also been alleged that when first aid experts arrived on the scene, my member was fully erect and those that saw it claim that it is small.
These allegations are totally untrue and malicious, aimed at tarnishing my good standing in the PP and in government.
I would like to put on record that the place in question was not a hotel, but a lodge. It is also totally false that I took an overdose of Viagra. First of all, I did not take Viagra, I took Gondolosi. Secondly, it was not an overdose. It is the same amount I have been taking ever since I became minister, as prescribed by my village herbalist in Kasungu. The allegation that the young lady i was with is a teenager is also not true. She had just turned 20. And It is totally false that my member was erect and that it is small. The truth of the matter is that It looked small because it was not erect at all. According to my doctor, My member is of Medium size and capable of satisfying any woman.
As you can see, there was no truth at all in the stories that were circulating over the internet. It is unfortunate that irresponsible journalists have once again choses to use pure conjecture and rumour and publish them as stories, causing a lot of pain to my family and assassinating my character. I hope the facts as stated above will set the record straight.
END OF STATEMENT.
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