Scenes Out Of Life In Malawi: Two Chicks, Louise And Joyce, Battle It Out

Oh, this is really funny. The woman calling herself ‘Madonna’, born as Louise Veronica Ciccone, the entertainer that is, has fallen out with the people who run Malawi, the small African country which Ms Ciccone had chosen as other object of her kindness, having adopted two kids from there. It so happened that during her last trip to this part of the world Ms Ciccone was accused by President Joyce Banda, who incidentally never changed her name, of exaggerating her contribution to Malawi and demanding VIP treatment as if she, Ms Ciccone, was some head of state.

Ms Banda, who is a no nonsense woman, issued a statement that Malawi is not obliged to treat ‘Madonna’ as some head of state and be ‘chained to the obligation of gratitude’. (That was a cracking phrase, mind you. Must have upset Ms Ciccone, who likes others to be grateful to her for all that talent that she keep on giving to the world.) But more damagingly, it’s  been pointed out that the pop star has been telling porkies about her contribution to the Malawian education system. And that really hurt because Ms Ciconne has been saying that she gave money to build ten new schools in Malawi and the ungrateful Ms Banda insisted that these were not ten new schools but rather renovations made to existing ones. And that sort of made Ms Ciccone’s charitable efforts look – how can I put it? – slightly less impressive tan they really are.

Mind you, one point that the Malawian government has made was spot on when it said that kindness has to be ‘free and silent’. And when it is not, it said, then it becomes something different. The word ‘blackmail’ was even mentioned in this context. Strong word that. Must have seriously offended the giveth.

Naturally, a spokesman for ‘Madonna’ denied everything, including the claim that the singer demanded any special treatment. Although, of course, the presence of a small army of photographers wherever Ms Ciccone went in Malawi was a bit of a giveaway. Nevertheless, her spokesman could not resist a swipe at Ms Banda and pointed out that the hostility was probably caused by the removal of the President’s sister from the board of governors of ‘Madonna’s’ charity organisation that presided over the campaign of all that massive school building.

Whatever the truth of this matter, and we should not be taking sides here, it does look a bit odd when celebrities choose some poor nation and bless it with their presence. That big-hearted actress, Angelina Jolie, has been strutting the world as UN ambassador, posing for the cameras and really showing that she cares for the weak, the sick and the vulnerable. And other stars have not been shy to this sort of highly publicised kindness as well. And it does look odd and smacks of self-promotion, if you want it straight. And Ms Ciccone, or ‘Madonna’ as she prefers to be known, was asking for it, to be perfectly honest, when she played god in Malawi. Because her sort of generosity is about as far detached from godly as it takes.

The last I heard ‘Madonna’ was thinking of adopting an 87-year-old Zimbabwean boy called Robert.