Men with babies all over town are a menace to the dating scene; I do not date them.

Yes, I said it!

I am not ashamed of it, neither do I apologise for my stand.

This is because these days, Malawian men are like baby-making machines. They have a habit of knocking up women who they do not intend to marry. It’s utterly dumbfounding.

The situation is so bad such that if you find a man who is in his early 30s and does not have a love child stashed somewhere in the shadows, then he is a rarity and not the usual Tom, Dick and Harry who have made it their personal mission to irresponsibly populate the earth.

I know they say that good men are hard to find, so what do you do with a good man who has a kid or kids from a previous relationship. You run!




Oh, let’s see. There is the glaring issue of the very disgruntled ex-girlfriend or baby mama.

A baby mama is to be feared at all cost; women all over the world can testify to the fact that it’s easier to date a man with kids when the mother of those children is in heaven, on Mars or happily-married  to someone else. But sadly, only a few women are ever that lucky.

Dating a baby daddy is a package deal in which you get him, the mama and the kid. It never fails that the baby mama, at some point, wanted him to marry her or at least stay in the relationship. I can only imagine what it feels like to be made pregnant and then left high and dry.

And no one wants to deal with a heart-broken, jealous woman taking her frustrations out on her baby daddy’s new girlfriend, even though she may be justified in her anger.

Simply put, when you date a man with kids, it comes with baby mama drama.

A baby mama is like an itch you can’t get rid of. She will always be hustling her baby daddy for money. Always coming over, then there is the issue of constantly calling at strange hours of the night.

Secondly, I am selfish. I like to come first, not second, not last, but first. And when you are dating a man who is a father, his child or children will always come first, and if they do not, then you are dating a deadbeat dad, and who wants that?



Also, let’s not forget the fact that a baby daddy will have to pay upkeep for his child or children, and as a result, there will be less money to be spent on you. Do you really want a man that has to support another household? So, if you are the type of woman who likes to go on extravagant dates and live the good life, you might consider lowering your expectations. Having kids is expensive, especially when you factor in diapers, clothes, food and healthcare.

Unfortunately, being a baby daddy also tells a lot about a man’s character. Call it a mistake, call it a consequence, but getting a woman pregnant whom you do not intend to marry is just déclassé in this day and age where condoms are sold even in neighbourhood kiosks.

Dating men with kids takes someone very selfless of the mother Teresa variety. If you search yourself as a woman and do not see this quality in you, then do yourself a favour and walk away.

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