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TIPS: 7 WAYS TO GET OVER A PARTNER WHO DOESN’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE

It’s a normal relationship scenario to love a person, only to find out that they have switched off on you, no longer love you again and hurt you in ways that you would never have imagined.

This is really a frustrating situation to be in, and would make you wonder what you ever did wrong. The truth is; more often than not, it really isn’t your fault — your partner fell out of love and you need to absorb this new reality, because it certainly has been coming all along.

Getting over that partner that you have been emotionally attached to is never an easy ordeal, but the least you can do is try.

These tips below would help:

1. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO GRIEVE

Suppressing your emotions could be like continuously pumping air into a balloon without letting some escape — the balloon would definitely burst. However, hear the sound that the balloon makes when the air blown in is let out; it’s like a sound of relief. This illustration could also be likened with your emotions after being dumped by your partner; if you don’t let out the grief, it could blow you up some day. Just take a day out to grief, pour out your emotions if you want, cry if you feel the urge till you feel light within you.

2. STOP KILLING YOURSELF WITH CERTAIN QUESTIONS

You cannot grief forever; grieving for more than a day is even ill-advised. It’s best to start thinking of moving on; you might think that it isn’t easy, but life isn’t easy as well. Certain questions you ask yourself would only make matters worse; stop killing yourself with questions like: how do I get back at them? What would I do to pay back? How do I make him / her jealous? What is wrong with me? Why did he / she leave?
Questions like the ones listed above are only irrelevant and would never help you in any way.

3. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF

At this point, you really need to be good to yourself; you are the only one that can make yourself heal — you have the key to your happiness. Value yourself, be kind to yourself, do nice things to make yourself happy, see yourself as an important person and that your partner has everything to lose for not sticking by you.

4. STOP TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR PARTNER’S MIND

This is one thing many people do in this situation and this is one of the major reasons they can’t move on from that person who doesn’t love them anymore. Accept that person wasn’t the one for you and quit trying to make them change their mind because it wouldn’t really work out; rather, that person would even get more sick of you.

At this point, it no longer matters how much you care about your partner, but the fact that you aren’t loved and appreciated anymore.

5. ACCEPT THAT YOU CAN’T BE LOVED AS YOU WANT TO BE LOVED

This isn’t the time to start fighting for a love that no longer exists; accept the fact that your partner can’t love you the way you ought to be loved and remain positive that it’s never late to find that person who would love you the way you ought to be loved.

6. BUILD YOURSELF

You know the saying ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’? Well, there is so much truth in that. Use this experience to build a stronger and healthier self-identity. Be stronger and smarter, build self-values and you wouldn’t regret it.

7. DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY

If there is any time to have fun and do things that would make you happy, it’s at this point. Being lonely would only make you think and you would end up with so many thoughts that would push you to take wrong decisions. Rather than give those thoughts a chance, do things you love, do things that would make you happy; hang out with friends and you would definitely feel better.

Getting over a partner who doesn’t love you anymore might not be an easy ordeal, but life itself isn’t always easy. Pick up yourself no matter how hard it could be because you would only suffer for nothing for a partner who has long moved on.

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Robert Ngwira
Robert Ngwira
Attended Our Future Private Secondary School in Rumphi from 2006-2009 Holder of Diploma in Journalism from Malawi Institute of Journalism (MIJ) Hobbies, reading newspapers, going out with friends, listening to radio and watching football. Email: info@faceofmalawi.com

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