Here are discussions to avoid while being intimate with your partner


When it comes to intimacy, there are some things that could be said to your partner that would kill the mood and probably make sex unappealing.

When under the sheet, make the experience worthwhile, compliment your partner, let them feel wanted. This makes them want you more.

As earlier stated, there are some words that should be avoided, and below are some:

1. You remind me of someone

It is okay to have memory flashbacks but please, do not tell your partner they remind you of someone while you both are being intimate.

It is highly disrespectful and might kill the mood. Saying they remind you of someone simply means your mind is with someone else even though you are with them.

2. How’s the family?

Even if you’re someone who loves a chit-chat, now is not the time to talk about their mum, whether the laundry needs doing or how that work meeting went.

The right time to catch-up is not during sex, it is disturbing asking those kinds of personal questions while being intimate. Just enjoy the moment and go personal when you are done.

3. You can if you want

What do YOU want? It is always best to be confident and clear in bed. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and voice what you don’t want.

If it’s something you’re enjoying, give it a hearty “oh yesss”, as though they’re fulfilling a life-long dream. But if it’s something you don’t want, make that clear. “Not tonight”, “why don’t we do this instead” or, “let us try something else” Just avoid indifference, no-one’s a mind-reader.

Being indifferent shows you are probably not into what is happening and that might change the mood of things.

4. How many people have you been with”

It is important to cater to your sexual health, however, not when the deed is happening.

Asking about sexual health is an absolute must with a new partner or even a recurring one.

2Have the STI discussion and lots more before sex not during. It’s a sensitive issue that might not be ideal for mid-sex.

As much as possible, try not to ruin a romantic mood unless you are not interested and this should always be communicated in clear terms.

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Flora Mitumba

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