Court orders husband to return to violent wife in Zambia

A husband of Lusaka, who escaped from his 25 yearlong marriage with a broken leg, fractures and skin peeling off his body, courtesy of beatings from his loving wife has been ordered to toughen up and return to the marriage to continue carrying his cross to the proverbial Golgotha.

Before magistrate Contrudah Kamono was 56-year old Matomola Sicecala, who was sued by his wife, Doreen Mwenyakonde for reconciliation.

Like the Zambian play of ‘Sheep, Sheep come home’, Doreen asked the court to compel her husband whom she had, on countless times, turned into a punching bag, to return home.

Doreen narrated that her husband, whom she subjected to uppercuts, slaps, karate kicks and other fighting skills displayed by Bruce Lee tapompele, had escaped with the title deeds of the couple’s house to seek refuge at his peaceful girlfriend’s house and she now wanted him back.

Doreen added that the cause of their problems was that Matomola did not understand of her medical condition that she could not have sex until the day when she heals.

Meanwhile, shivering in his box in the court, Matomola asked for assurance from his wife that she would not baptise him anymore with beatings of probably cooking sticks and other ‘missiles’; an assurance which Doreen gave before the face of the court.

Based on those assurances, the court urged Matomola to sheep himself back to his lioness of a wife as she had promised not to dissect him again.

Meanwhile, as he was leaving court, by-standers urged old-man Matomola to enroll for Karate classes so that he could at least dodge his wife’s kicks, should she launch another Kung-fu attack on him.

-Kalemba