When you have just discovered that your man is cheating on you…please do NOT do the following:-
- Demanding to know about the other woman: The truth may hurt you. Can you handle the truth?
- Insulting the other woman: You are giving her power she doesn’t deserve. Especially if you insult her to your husband e.g. how is your slut doing?
- Forcing him to choose, thinking he will choose you: There is no competition here-you will lose this one! She is new and they are in the honeymoon phase. You, on the other hand, are an old habit.
- Calling him excessively to check on him like a prisoner: He may start to avoid your calls even if he is not doing anything bad just to protect his freedom.
- Beating the other woman up: You are creating sympathy for her. Now she looks like your victim to him. With this one you are still giving her power.
- Threatening to leave just to scare him: You are giving him ideas. You make the grass seem greener on the other side.
- Crying: He won’t feel sympathy for you – he will feel burdened by the tears.
- Snooping: Don’t hurt yourself unnecessarily. You will find what you are looking for. Don’t break into his e-mails. Don’t scroll his cellphone and don’t go through his messages.
- Being in denial even though the signs are there: Do something about your knowledge or you will make yourself sick. Some diseases are stress-related. Deal with your issues; don’t bottle them up.
- Telling his mother: For crying out loud! This is his mother!
- Committing suicide: Seriously, once you’re gone, you’re gone!
Do the following; Put the phone down.
It is wise to leave his phone alone. When you are hurting, deal with your disappointment instead of going through his phone only to find more truths that will hurt you.
When his phone rings, leave the room. Even if it’s ringing unattended to, leave it alone. Don’t answer his phone. Learn to be strong and ignore it.
Don’t steal numbers of women from his phone and start embarrassing yourself. These women will know that you are insecure and will press-on with the affair.
Under no circumstances should you call the other woman. If you call her you will achieve nothing except to acknowledge her.
She doesn’t exist, treat her like that. Entomb her in the dust of her own nothingness.
Don’t call your man twenty times a day. It is annoying, he already knows he violated your trust.
Don’t rub it in his face that you don’t trust him. Remember if you want to win this one: create your own rules! Go left when he thinks you will go right!