Dealing with a break-up isn’t easy. It isn’t easy to let go, unless it was a mutual decision to separate. However, breaking up with someone doesn’t mean life ends.

It’s difficult to accept, but if you can follow some of these steps, there’s no denying you’ll be your own self in no time.

DON’T WRITE THEM

There’s always going to be an itch to call or text or maybe email that ex now and then, especially in moments when you’re either drunk or just down emotionally.

I mean, it’s natural to miss them because you have memories of great times with them, but remember that the relationship is over, and they probably moved on too. Getting on touch would only make you ridicule yourself or get disrespected in the end.

So when the urge to reach out to them comes, hold it in as much as you can. The longer you hold on, the stronger your resolve to move on.

FACE THE ADDICTION

Like I said, you have great memories of this ex, so you’ll be hooked to them naturally. But consider this addiction a bad one that you have to get rid of otherwise, you suffer emotional trauma. It’s like a cigarette; unless you stop, you endanger your health.

GO OVER EVERYTHING

When a relationship ends, as a part of the ‘moving on’ process, you replay everything in your mind.

But rather than enjoy the good times, and be tempted to go back to your vomit, the ideal thing to do is think about what led to the break up in the first place. Were you doing something wrong? You didn’t give enough attention to them? You were too possessive? Jealous? Clingy? Too busy? The reason this is important is because it’ll help you learn and be better for the next relationship.

ALLOW THE PROCESS

Moving on from one’s ex is a process that cannot just pass overnight or in a week; it will take time.

So do not try to force yourself to block out thoughts of your previous relationship because that would only make it take longer than necessary. Allow yourself grieve, and deal with the development. It will pass once it’s time.

LIVE TOO!

There is the first few weeks of feeling down and grieving, but once that passes, and you find that you’re getting over it, laugh and live! Connect more with friends. Go to the movies. Have fun. Hang out, and spoil yourself. You deserve that much after what you have been through.

FOLLOW THE ‘NO CONTACT RULE’

Naturally, you’ll be curious as to what your ex has been up to in a while.

So you hit his social media pages and try to check them out, but as okay as that seems, there’s a line that cannot be crossed – you cannot contact him or her otherwise, all the efforts you have put in over the months and years would have been a waste. You can check on their progress, but never contact them.

IMPROVE YOURSELF

The best way to make an ex feel regret for dumping you is to work harder than you did, and be successful. Success is the greatest kind of revenge.

When you keep getting better, you’ll feel good about yourself, and you’ll be happier you even lost them. So keep going. Do not pause your life for someone else.

Source:Elcrema

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Kelvin Chaguza
He obtained his MSCE certificate at Namitete secondary school in 2009. Then enrolled at Skyway University where he got his journalism ABMA certificate. He obtained ABMA Diploma in journalism in 2014 at Blantyre Institute of Management (BIM). His hobbies are singing, reading books and traveling.

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